A couple of years ago when I was 14 I couldn’t see a future for myself. Depression and anxiety had made me become a shell of a person I once was. Depersonalisation, derealisation and depression had taken over my life. I couldn’t even walk to school without my dad. I wasn’t at school for a month and even once I did go back I could only work in a teachers office because I couldn’t face the rest of the people in my year asking where i’d gone and what had happened. I remember crying to my counsellor how I wouldn’t be able to do my GCSEs and get in to college, or how I wouldn’t be strong enough to make it to uni. But I did all that. 3 years later and my bags are packed to move into uni tomorrow. It hasn’t been an easy ride but I’ve made it, and I’m happier then I’ve ever been and have amazing people in my life. I’ve learnt that no matter how hard or impossible the future seems, there are so many good things to look forward to.
£315 – tibi.com
£175 – tessabit.com
£105 – cusp.com
£24 – jeweliq.com
£16 – humblechic.com
£16 – bobbibrowncosmetics.com
£6.25 – zoeva-shop.de
£1.29 – stylesforless.com
£5.20 – accessorize.com
1) Never regret anything that made you happy
2) Likewise, don’t feel guilty about anything that makes you happy
3) Sometimes you have to put your own long term happiness first
4) You’re going to fail at some stuff. And it’s ok.
5) Don’t forget to look at how far you’ve come. Be proud of it.
6) You’re going to meet people that don’t think of your feelings and let you down. It’s life.
7) You’re going to get hurt but it doesn’t mean everyone will hurt you
8) It’s okay not to hate the ones that hurt you, no matter how much you wish that you did
9) Never be ashamed of yourself or your illness
10) You live with an illness and take medication. Give yourself a break sometimes and don’t be so hard on yourself because you can’t do the same things as others
11) There are more important things in life than passing a test
12) Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will
13) Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Some are just there to teach you some lessons.
14) Take each day as it comes
Lately my anxiety has been affecting me when I go out a lot more than usual. I’ve had to quickly leave college, sit on the floor at a tube station to calm down despite all the weird stares from passers- AND even passed out and had a panic attack at a gig recently.
Does anyone else get panicky in busy crowds? I’m trying to think of ways that I can overcome it because it’s getting too hard and affecting me too often now.
When I’m in a crowded, busy place I get hot and feel like I’m going to faint and be sick- I’ve tried to focus on my breathing, listen to music etc. but none of it works.
That’s the annoying thing about recovery; it’s a never ending process. You have to keep trying everyday and no matter how hard you do try or how well you’ve been doing, it can all go away so quickly. I know having ‘downs’ is normal in recovery, I mean I’ve been doing it for 2 years. It’s all part of the balancing act of getting better.
I just thought I’d got everything under control-I was even going to come off Fluoxetine in the next couple of weeks.
Does anyone have any ideas of techniques that I can use when I’m in a crowded place?
When I found out the tragic news of Robin Williams’ death I was shocked. Even more so when I found out the reason why and what some people were saying about it.
Suicide isn’t the easy way out. I don’t think some people have any idea of how hard it is to go against your bodies natural instinct to save you from harm. Think about the mental place you must be in to be able to be strong enough to go past that. And yet people have called him a coward? Robin Williams was NOT a coward. He was a strong, funny inspirational man who was fighting an illness that happened to beat him. Unless you’ve been in his situation, you are in no place to judge if he ‘tried hard enough to be happy’. With depression every day is a battle and unfortunately saying people with it just need to ‘cheer up’ won’t make any difference. Instead it’ll make them feel worse and feel like they can’t talk to you about it.
Depression is a war. You either beat it and win or you die trying.
BUT HEY- WE RAISED MORE THAN £500!
This Saturday, me and my 3 other (very tired) friends woke up at 7am and ventured out to our local high road to raise money for Marie Curie, a charity that provides quality care for those with terminal illnesses. To say it was rewarding would be an understatement; it’s an amazing feeling to raise money that will provide the best possible quality of life for people who are in the last stages of their life, and just hearing people’s personal experiences with the charity was heartwarming- and at least we made people laugh in those ridiculous hats!
If you would like to find out more about Marie Curie or would like to donate to an amazing cause, click here!